Promises From God

I love that God makes promises. I love that He knows our innermost heart, sees our hidden places  and then speaks to us of things to come; such as healing (i.e. wounded places) or victory (i.e. shameful or dark places).

If you search the bible you can find numerous promises from God.  Probably my favorite is the promise of eternal life through resurrection..I think that one's fairly obvious.  But my mind, for the last few days, has been on His personal promises to me.  Things He has spoken to me about over many years, but also promises He made when I didn't know Him & couldn't hear Him.  These are the things that show me how personal He is, that He has a watchful eye on me, offering me opportunities to stay in His perfect will.  His promises are meant to come true and He gives us every opportunity to assist in making that happen.

If you think you have never received a personal promise from God, I would have to tell you that you are wrong.  I would have to say that you have not worked to open your ears to hear His voice.  I would have to say that you have either not been taught how to enter into a personal relationship or you have decided you do not want one, either out of fear or loathing.  Then I would have to say that you are missing out on the most important thing you could ever pursue while here on this earth for your lifetime.

It is God's promises to me that, sometimes, keep me putting one foot in  front of the other; that give me hope and the strength to move on to the next obstacle that seemingly looms before me.  Thankfully, I have seen enough of His promises come true in my life that sometimes it is getting easier to step into the next challenge.  Honestly, I don't always dive right in.  Sometimes it just seems too big for me, too emotional, too painful. But eventually I take a deep breath, grab hold of His extended hand...and He leads me in. He leads me in!  I have never had to go into any painful or dark places without Him!  

I mean, that still blows my mind!  He always walks in front of me...and where am I?...usually cowering behind Him. He is my shield.  Then as we walk deeper, His confidence in me begins to seep into my soul, I become stronger & more secure; I begin to walk in the promise He gave me, that I am who He says I am. Before I know it I am walking beside Him, into battle, facing my fear or darkness; we are arm-in-arm together, beating back the enemy, shining and victorious!  Once I believe that I am who He says I am, I am victorious, confidence overcomes me!  I can see the ultimate victory waiting for me; I see the light at the end of the tunnel and nothing will stand in my way.

Having dealt with various forms of abuse in my childhood and into adulthood, I had some definite fears for my kids when I began a family.  The main one was sexual abuse.  I didn't want my kids to ever know that feeling of not being in control of what was happening to you, of experiencing that form of death in their spirit.  I began praying against sexual abuse over my kids starting with my first child.  Early on I felt God's promise to me on this issue.  It wasn't until many years later that I would see His promise laid out before my very eyes.

When my daughter, Eden, was three she was with her brothers visiting a neighborhood friend (we will call her Rachel), my kids played there often.  I had another neighbor over for a visit, we were drinking tea and I was baking cookies while we were chatting.  About halfway into our visit my phone rang and it was Rachel.  She said, "I can't find Eden.  I've looked all over the house and outside, too."  The panic in her voice told me more than her words.  I gave Rachel a description of what Eden was wearing and told her to call the police and that I was on my way.

It is only about a 3 minute drive to Rachel's house.  I had begun praying as soon as I got in the car and about 1/4 of the way there God reminded me of His promise to me.  It is so hard to explain what happened next.  Instantly I was filled with joy and I began to laugh out loud and to speak out God's promises to me regarding my children, and thanking Him for those promises.  I spoke out that I knew He would help us find Eden, that she would be returned to us safe & unharmed.  I was singing, of all things!  Sounds crazy, I know, but I had a promise and God doesn't lie.

I knew in my heart and spirit that I had victory, but we still needed Eden to come home and my dear friend Rachel didn't have my confidence.  The whole event from beginning to end, when the police pulled up with Eden in the car, was only a little over an hour, but Rachel broke down when she saw Eden being lifted from the police car and it was a long time healing for her. I felt like I was floating through the whole thing really.  I'm sure it was God keeping me from being over-anxious, helping me keep my head together.  Later though, while getting ready for bed and after I'd tucked Eden in, it all hit home, but I had the reality of a promise made and kept.  The reality of a God who knows the innermost places of our heart and knows how to keep a promise.

There is not one of us in this world who doesn't have a serious issue we are facing right now or will in the future.  We are warned that things will happen, that the enemy will come against us.  The problem is that if we are not before God and we are solely relying on our own strength & understanding to get us through these times, we will wear ourselves out. We do not have the stamina within ourselves to handle all that the enemy has planned, and believe me, he will stop at nothing to destroy us.  That is his only desire, to wound us into self destruction, to bind us to fear, anger & hatred; these are the things that destroy who we were created to be; these are the things that will separate us from God.  There is good & bad in everything around us, for every positive there is a negative, and so it is in the spirit...Good and evil. 

I encourage you to pursue God's promises for your life, for the lives of the people you love.  I encourage you to begin to build a foundation that is rock solid, impenetrable, immovable...and He is waiting for you.

The Spirit In Words

God wants to share His heart with His people.  

And how does He do that you might ask?  Well, I believe His preference is for His beautiful creations to learn to hear His voice and then go where He leads, all with the understanding that great personal freedoms and unity with our Creator comes from that, but in this world we live in, this society of distractions, even those who are committed to following His lead can find this difficult to do.

So how does He get through to us with all these constant interruptions?  Well, lately for me He has been using words.  For a few years now we have all been seeing the mass marketed words sold at all the local "buy everything you need here" stores, and these words have great meaning to many, but I consider them sort of entry level.  I believe this art lacks a depth compared to where God wants to take us in understanding how He communicates with us.

A few years ago a dear friend got me interested in collage art, prophetic collage art, to be specific.  My personal favorite is when God puts someone specific on my heart; I begin praying about them whenever I feel prompted by the Spirit and then I get a "download" of sorts about who they are, how God sees them, about His heart for them and what His plans are for their life.  I already have on file massive amounts of pictures, phrases, words, decals and so on, so I begin rifling through all of these and I set aside whatever speaks to my spirit about this person.  From there the piece of art begins to form and through this I am privileged to become an intimate participant in encouraging, bringing laughter, and more often then not, healing to one of God's great creations.  It's a symbiotic relationship.

The point of bringing this up and what has really been brooding in me lately are the words.  Bunches of words put together designed to stir people at the very core of their being.  Words are communication and God desires to communicate with His people.  He desires to involve His people (you) in His creative thinking process.  For us to meet Him and be stirred by Him and allow Him to wake us up to an even bigger God than we have previously known. He wants to get our minds out of religious ruts, our routine ways of thinking and for our bodies and spirits to be reaching out for more of what He has for us.  Looking at words can do that.  

Looking at groups of words or phrases, such as; "Decaying Foliage Can Cloud the Water"  when seeking out things in the Spirit, can mean innumerable things to different  people, because God communicates very specifically to each one of us.  He is a very intimate and personal God.  "One Part Romance + Two Parts Passion =" can also ignite our imaginations on a personal level, maybe how we want that equation applied in our own lives; or on a very intimate, spiritual level in our relationship with Jesus.  One of my favorites that I found is "Do Hard Things".  Doing hard things is sometimes what it takes to produce sufficient change in our lives, either in the way we think, how we react, how we don't react, there are so many ways to see those three simple words.  

Some of you might be thinking, "How does this work?", or "God doesn't act like that with me", or "Wow, I've never heard anyone talk about God like this before, I wonder if I could do this".  It's pretty simple really.  God created all things, by Him and through Him all things came into being, therefore, it stands to reason that everything spiritual was made by Him and for a purpose.  We are spirit in flesh, we are made to operate in the spirit, to be aware of the goings on, to be involved in what God is doing and is preparing to do.  It's a very exciting time; doors opening in the spirit to awaken His people to things as of yet unseen.  If you are not a believer, you still have access to the spirit realm, it's just which spirit realm you choose to work with, you cannot have "good" without having "evil"; God is also a scientist, for every "positive" there is a "negative".  Very simple, you have a choice.  I know because I've worked both sides of the fence and there is a distinct difference, I have observed it and experienced it.  Being on God's side is way better than anything else out there.

I recently started a new Facebook page titled Rebelution/s.  It is designed to open lines of communication between people as to how the Spirit speaks to them when reading words.  How do they make you feel?  What stirring in your spirit did you feel, or if you even felt anything?  To be able to read how others were affected, what they thought or felt, what those words reminded them of,  to help wake people up to a new way of God communicating with His people.  Through words He stirs me to no end; reminds me of people to consider, helps me communicate better with my kids, gives me opportunity to feed into other people and often He brings me revelation of what He is doing, or wants to do in His church, His people.  I want to be a part of that intimate moving of the Spirit and I'm hoping this page brings others into that desire also.  That may seem like a shameless plug for my new page, but I really am so passionate to watch God communicate and to see doors to hearts & minds opened.

So on that note I leave you with these words: 







What can you do with them?

My Winding Facebook Journey

For a while now I've been pondering Facebook and what it means to me (kind of the same way I feel about Costco).  I've been on Facebook (FB) about 3 years now, give or take a few days.  My initial thought was that it is its own entity, having a life all its own.  Like something you'd find in the old Star Trek shows.  It's quite a phenomenon really.  My next step has been figuring out what I want it to be in my life, how to best utilize it and how to keep it in its proper place.  That has been changing with each day, especially recently.

I avoided FB for months after it started growing, all on its own, honestly, it scared me and rightfully so.  I had no idea what I was getting into the day I decided to open a FB page.  Why did "they" need to know so much about me?  Much of my time on FB has been like traveling down a winding road never sure what's going to be around the corner, sometimes nothing, sometimes a huge train wreck, recently a breath of fresh air and freedom.  It's all in learning how to use it and not letting it use you.

After filling out all my information I sat back and waited to see what would happen, I mean I had no idea what I was doing.  I had opened a MySpace page the year before but that was pretty manageable, I really only ended up hearing from a lot of my old musician friends from my days in Hollywood, a semi-fun walk down memory lane, and also some people I already had mild contact with, but none of the people who I had daily contact with.  I felt that God was wanting me to begin to understand this "other world", but to what purpose?

So, as I said, I sat back and waited...for all of about 5 minutes.  This was some crazy world I just stepped into!  All of a sudden I was bombarded with several hundred people who I "might know" and many others who, unfortunately, I did know...at one point or another.  My past was slowly encroaching on my present, no longer neatly packaged up and put in its proper place...yuck.  My next step?  Well, I know what it should have been, but that & what I did were two different things...

In my head: "Oh, wow, it's so-and-so.  Yeah, that was a long time ago, I can be their friend.  Oh look, the whole congregations from the churches I used to go to but when I left no one cared enough to call.  Sure, let bygones be bygones, I can be their friend, too. Etc. Etc..."

I mean, really, who did I think I was...Wonder Woman?  You betcha.  And along with all the old long-forgotten were also old foundational friends, current semi-acquaintances and in the mix of everyone, a whole lot of people who obviously never knew me at all and certainly didn't know me now, but hey, this was all about being "friends", right?

At this point, I need to explain something about myself.  While growing up I was very shy and insecure and in turn was bullied constantly in my elementary years. I had hoped when we moved to the country when I was 9 that it would be better, but it wasn't, just more psychological.  Up to that time the worst I had experienced was when I was in 2nd grade. I was walking home from school and heard some kids coming up behind me. When I turned and saw who it was I started running, but just like in all the movies, they were bigger & faster.  The next thing I knew they were throwing my papers all over the road and I was at the mercy of the one who had hold of my arm and was spinning me round and round, building up speed until he finally let go and I found myself swiftly and painfully tumbling across the asphalt of my street.  It's true what they say, most accidents happen within a block of your home.

So this, along with a fairly chaotic home life, left me with little coherent life logic.  I lived on pure emotion and along the way left quite a wake behind me.  So here I was on FB, suddenly facing so many neatly stored emotional packages that were being opened back up.  There were people thinking they had some sort of authority over me, continually correcting me in my thoughts & musings; childhood friends who thought they knew me then but certainly didn't know me now; friends who I had pushed away but did know me and loved me anyway; others who in my own chaotic emotional instability I had hurt either purposefully or unknowingly.  These offered me the opportunity to apologize honestly from my heart and ask for forgiveness and they have been so very willing to do so, an opportunity I may not have ever had without FB; and friends who were astounded to find that along life's way I had chosen to walk with Christ on a journey to find out who I was created to be and then they in turn either decided we were no longer friends, have chosen to "hide" me from their page, tolerate me while biting on a silver bullet or are truly interested to find out who I am and form a friendship accordingly.  I have to say though too, I have done my share of removing "friends" over the past few years, nothing personal, it's just that it doesn't benefit either one of us, but I wish you well.  What a trip FB has been!

Over this past year I've taken a few steps back and have just watched people while keeping fairly regular contact with the few I truly am drawn to and mild contact with a few I truly love no matter what, but recently I'm being linked to a whole new group of friends who don't know me at all.  They have never met me, yet we have a commonality that supersedes the flesh; pursuing the freedom of God, leaving religion behind, encouraging each to follow the promptings of the Spirit and pursue the longings the Spirit has placed in our hearts.  And another thing that's so awesome about my new group of friends is that I get to bring along some of my everyday friends who have been linked with me on this pursuit for many years now.  It's so fun                 sharing this journey with people that I love!

So, it's true, FB is what you make it.  Although it does seem like it's own entity sometimes, it's not.  FB is a tool, it provides an opportunity to have contact with people we never would have had contact with otherwise, old & new.  It's really a fabulous thing, allowing new doors to open and the opportunity to close others...sometimes with great relief.  In this day and age of the all-knowing social media, it's just a matter of keeping everything in perspective, sharing wisely and respecting others, all the while knowing you might be surprised by what's around the next corner, and it's not always something bad.  It's just part of the journey.

What More Do We Need?

Wow, where do I start?!  I am finally finding some humor in this holiday season. The spirit just didn't want stick to me this year, at least not my normal Christmas spirit, even after our trip to Leavenworth...Christmas City Northwest (which I mentioned in a previous post), but I have discovered my new Christmas spirit and I am finally enjoying it!

In retrospect, looking back at this holiday season, I can definitely point out some specific things that led to some corrosion of my spirit.  Let's take for example...malls...ugh.  My dear friend, Tina, works (or should I say, worked...today is her last day!) at a kiosk at South Center Mall in Tukwila, WA.  If you are not from this area of our beautiful country, let's just say it is the largest mall I've ever been to outside of Los Angeles.  Whenever I go there, which is about once a year (this season I went twice, so I'm good for a while), I have to make a mental map in my brain so I don't get lost.  I've decided I'm much better at doing things one store at a time, each with their own parking lot.

Due to this years shopping experiences, I have taken serious issue with clothing stores that have next to no lighting, which in turn allow for far too many make out corners, of which I saw many...not what I was shopping for.  Headquarters would do well to make certain changes during the Christmas season to their stores to make them more appealing to the (slightly) older generations, which are the ones spending the majority of money at this time of year. Just sayin'.

My next issue would be store music, not the type but the volume...really?  And I love music, all kids of music and I like it loud, so this is saying a lot.  Why would anyone want to have to yell inside a store?  It's a good thing I've learned to read lips and I'm pretty sure more than one salesperson thinks I'm deaf, probably due to the hand motions I made requesting they look me directly in the face while speaking.  Hahaha!  Now that was fun!

My 12 year old daughter went shopping with me a couple of times during the weeks leading up to Christmas and I am pleased to announce that she is in complete agreement with me about the music volume.  (She can't be in agreement with me about the "make-out corner stores" because I don't allow her into those stores. My reasoning to her about that? " Because you can't see it, so why would you want to buy it?  Let's stick to the stores with lights.")  Her words about the volume are as follows, "Mom, I'm done shopping in here, I can't think."  Man, I love that girl!

I think, though, the biggest thing I noticed that contributed to my lack of Christmas spirit was just watching people shop.  My husband & I went out several times, neither one of us wanting to cram it all in, and we like to use this time to enjoy each others company, but (and I guess this is me being an "emotional sponge") I so often found myself struggling by the end of the evening.  To me this is a time of year to set aside time to show love to each other (something I try to make a priority every day), but Christmas gift giving is part of that. What I saw all too often was rudeness, self-absorbency, pettiness and anger.  I mean, I know it's probably always been there, but this year it just seemed to stand out more and maybe that was because I was out-and-about more, I'm not sure, but it sure was a bummer.

In this nation, and we are far from being a poor nation, we associate happiness with "stuff".  There is a Vegie Tales show where they feature "Stuff Mart" (my pet name for Costco), and you can buy anything your heart desires, all on the premise that then you will be happy.  What we forget though is that next week there will be something else we want, etc., etc. How much do we need to make us happy?  Where does happiness stem from?  Yes, it's wonderful to have things that make us smile and bring us joy.  Things that represent on a physical who we are spiritually, but also, buying just to buy and then doing it in anger will not bring joy.

We live in a country filled with abundance on every level, yet so many act like they have nothing...an absolute dichotomy. We, as a people living in the United States, are lacking virtually nothing that we need to be happy, at least in this day and age, yet I watched people scrambling, sometimes like animals, grabbing at things and stressing out, looking for that one "thing" that would make someone happy.  Another thought crossed my mind, if it is so much trouble finding "something", maybe we don't know each other very well.  Maybe more time spent together is what is needed and the gift could be something to accentuate that time and also what you get out of it.

This year we focused on shopping small, finding the hard-to-find, and keeping Christmas simple and joyful.  Yes, eventually I found my Christmas spirit and it came through friends & family and my love for them.  I am truly blessed with fabulous people in my life.  People who know me and love me, faults & imperfections included, as I know many of you are, too. So really (besides food, water, oxygen & sleep), what more do we need?

For Everything That Passes, Something New Begins

My heart has been heavy these past few days with the realization that so many peoples lives have been shattered.  As a nation we lost beautiful little children who were, undoubtedly, anticipating the arrival of Santa at their homes and the joy of waking Christmas morning to a new bounty. We lost adults whose families will be grieving instead of celebrating.  So much loss and pain, too many families related or not, who will be trying to find meaning and healing, and who may from this point on find the holidays a time of struggle instead of a time of unity, joy & happiness.

So often we go about our daily holiday crazes; buying that gift, making something else, baking, baking, baking, and so-on-and-so-forth, all with the anticipation of spending time with family and friends, most of whom we love so very much, and some whom we don't realize how much we love them until they are not here.

I had a difficult time getting into the holiday spirit this year, usually I am the one who rallies the troops, "Come on, come on!  Let's get all the stuff out of the shed, time to decorate!"  I even had the family take a day-trip to Leavenworth, the epitome of Christmas, to shake me up a bit.  (For those who don't live in Washington State, Leavenworth is literally a Christmas town filled with lights, carolers, Santa & Mrs. Clause, all things Christmas-like.)  I figured if this town couldn't get me in the spirit, nothing would.  After forging through two white-out blizzards on our way back over the mountain passes, I decided it was time for Christmas.  I was in full preparation mode!

Then came the horrible news of these poor children, their teachers and their families. Suddenly it became a time of mourning, it was very tangible everywhere I went.  I am a bit of an emotional sponge and found myself continuously feeling on the verge of tears and anxious.

Now I would like to share with you something I learned when my mom passed away.  My sister & I had gone to Oregon to be with her and my dad, to help take care of her and then after she passed I stayed an extra week to help my dad get some things in order. It was a difficult time, full of mourning.  Almost a year after, a new, young couple moved into the house across the street from us.  After they had gotten a bit settled I went over to introduce myself and welcome them.  During the course of our conversation I found out they had gotten married a year before on August 31st, the same day my mom had passed away. The passage "I will make all things new" went through my head and I thought, "Hmm".

From there stemmed a revelation that has embedded itself into my heart...For everything that passes, something new begins.  This past week, as I was struggling with death (and might I add, innocent people are dying every day, and others are suffering immeasurable losses, these are the unspoken ones we don't hear about) and trying to stay in the holiday spirit, I remembered what the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart...that for every loss, somewhere there is a new beginning.  Yes mourn, and rightfully so, our losses, but also remember to celebrate our life and our new beginnings.  I decided, that as unfortunate as these events are, I had a responsibility to also celebrate in the good things.

I will pray for all those personally involved in the recent tragedy, but I will also be here emotionally and spiritually for my family, keeping all things in perspective and providing a stable foundation for the ones I love.  In our home this will be a time of celebration and love for all that we are and all that we have, while remembering those who are struggling and praying for their well-being.

Please be blessed this Christmas season, from my home to yours.

Climbing Mount Self-Confidence

You know (or perhaps you don't)...we believe so many lies about who we are, in all areas of our lives.  Some willingly, some so very subconsciously. For example, one of the things I believed about myself for decades was that I was not worth being loved.  A belief like that, especially since I am a human; physical and sentient, is devastating to say the least.

I am here today to encourage just that one person who thinks they are unworthy, the one who subconsciously pushes people away, creates situations to keep people from getting too close, who emotionally separates themselves from their children...hmm, let me address that issue for a moment...

Children, what a beautiful creation!  If you scoff at that idea, I would have to confront you and say you have some serious issues, and I have the right to say that because this is my blog, but more-so because I used to think that.  I had very strict plans to never have any children.  The thought of having children scared the living everything out of me.  Now I could not have known, at the time I made this decision, what being a parent entails or what children have to offer, it was based solely on my lack of self-worth, that I had nothing to offer, no confidence in who I am as a human being, therefore, they had nothing to offer me.  Let me just say...children will rock your world...to put it lightly

Looking back I can see the folly in this thinking, but seriously, without self-worth this is a position we find ourselves in all the time, denying ourselves opportunities based on what we believe about ourselves, who we think we are.  Walking in disbelief about the magnificence of who we were created to be and why we were designed to be so changeable.  We sell ourselves short everyday of our lives, and when we decide not to, it is a struggle to climb that mountain to the top and see ourselves above the clouds.  But you can do it.

One of the things I did to begin climbing Mount Self-Confidence was to decide to follow through on my pregnancy with my oldest son.  That decision was a very scary one, but also a very important one.  You see, for people who have always wanted a family, to stay at home with their kids, the thought that someone would even have to consciously make this decision probably makes no sense at all.  But to me it was huge, probably one of the biggest challenges of my life. There are those of you who face similar challenges in your life right now, a decision to make that will rock your world.  If rocking your world brings positive change, then I say do it and do it now!

Don't take time to talk yourself out of it or to look too far ahead, just go for it.  "But then I'll have to make another decision!"  Yes, that's right, you will.  But by making decisions that alter your path, you change the way you think and act, and that alters your view of yourself!  Voila!

It's time to stop believing the lies.  You weren't born with them, they are baggage too heavy to carry.  It's time to stop allowing our lives to be limited.  Instead, let's make the limitless, full to overflowing with great and wonderful things!   We were made to be triumphant, elegant, complete and oh, so beautiful...so join hands with me, take a deep breath of courage and step into your true reality.  Let's start Climbing Mount Self-Confidence together, one leg at a time.

Be Blessed

I woke this morning with a strong sense of gratefulness and true thanksgiving, it has almost been overwhelming.  I feel as if I'm seeing through new eyes; my kids, my home, my life.

It didn't take long for my mind to wander to some I know, but many whom I don't; those who are battling serious issues in their lives right now and must face the holiday season with heavy hearts.  

As I spent some morning time hanging out with Jesus, my heart went out to those people and families.  Of many, you would never know they are having great difficulty, their faces are determined to show a different reality.  Most, who aren't as good at hiding it, will simply not venture out for fear of revealing their pain and possibly making others uncomfortable.  And unfortunately many don't want to be a burden in their sadness. Oh, if they only knew.

For all of them I found myself interceding in a spiritual warfare to push back the hand of the enemy.  To battle into the enemy's camp, determined to spiritually impact these people's lives.  So many of us in the church simply put our time in, in fairly haphazard ways, it makes us feel so much better.  But, does it really change anything?  What is it we are called to do?  Sit on the sidelines as if we're viewing a tennis match?  Or step into the fray, securely encased in our armor, sword ready with shield in the forefront, ready to battle to the end for our brothers and sisters, even if they don't know that's who they are.  

I fear as a church we are falling far short of the call on our lives.  It is not about showing who we are by being financially prosperous, raising up our kids so they know all the bible stories and can recite scripture by heart without anointing, or to put on our Sunday faces as if our lives are perfect.  We, as the blessed church, need to pick ourselves up off the proverbial floor of self-pity, look around and understand all that we are blessed with; a blessing much larger than merely the physical.  We must pick up that armor rusting over in the corner, take the time needed to polish it to its original luster and begin putting it on, locking each piece in place, securely, being strengthened by Truth.  

Look around.  Choose a battle raging around and step into the warfare. Go beyond your own circumstances and find what you're really made of and let's be thankful for who we really are.  A member of the army of God, capable of working as a fine tuned machine, well oiled and ready for battle.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.  Be blessed.