SEX? - Of Course I Can!

HAHAHAHAHAHAH!  Laughing is the perfect way to start this post!  Come on...big guffaws now!  I suppose the answer to the question of having sex would be different depending on whether you are a man or a woman (or WHOA-man, as I like to say).  And also dependent upon your mood, but only if you're a woman.

I like talking about sex, not because I am always particularly fond of it, but because I believe it is probably the most important endeavor of pursuit in a marriage.  It is also, as I've discovered from numerous conversations with women, a huge bone of contention between husbands & wives or just between women friends if one of the women has an issue with it and is being called out on that issue.  The reason I talk of women having an issue with it is because most of the women I know do.  So why women harboring such negative opinions on something that was obviously created to unite?

So if sex in marriage is designed to draw two people together then why are we so afraid of it?  Yes, I said afraid, now we've hit the nail on the head.  When I've had the chance to talk to other women about sex in their marriage, among all the reasons why they say they don't want to have sex, I look into their eyes and see fear.  I know that's true because I see in them the same things that are in me at times, that internal battle of self-hatred, anger, frustration; all the things that culminate into an emotion so overwhelming that we would rather fight with the one we love and go to bed angry and hurt, rather then submit ourselves to intimate love.  Now, I have seen this in some men, but very few.  It is far more prevalent in women.

This is how it usually starts, "No, you go ahead honey. I'm just going to finish this up. I'll be in later"; deep sigh "Tonight?  But I'm so tired and I kind of have a headache. I just wanna get some sleep"; or there's always the "no-eye-contact-climb-into-bed-to-settle-ourselves-with-our-backs-to-our-husbands-while- pulling-the-blankets-all-the-way-up-to-our-neck-along-with-a-deep-sigh-while-we-cozy-our-face-into-our- pillow-like-it's-the-best-friend-we've-ever-had"...when our husband, the one we wanted to be intimate with, is lying there wanting to love us.  Ooo, now there's another wedge between us, damn!  But we stick to our guns anyway, all for the sake of self-preservation.  But what is it we are preserving?

A lie.  We are preserving a lie.  A lie about who we are, what we deserve, how much we are worth, how much love we are allowed to have, instead of diving head first into probably the most healing aspect that marriage has to offer, sexual intimacy.  I know, I know...that's all men ever think about!  Well, you might be right, but I don't think you are.  That's what society wants you to think, that's what the women on talk shows and sitcoms say, but is this really who you want defining your relationship?  I stopped watching television 7 years ago because I couldn't stand the way marriage was depicted.  Men are portrayed as being totally incapable and only thinking with their more base instincts and the women speak to them as if they were ignorant children.  If I didn't know better, I'd say most shows are designed to undermine the intimacy of marriage and create division.  Hmm, divide and conquer...sounds like something I've heard of before.

All of us, when we decide to enter into an intimate relationship, bring our history with us.  But we have a choice as to how we allow that history to affect us and those we love.  Knowing each other, being intimate, two becoming one, strengthening each other, balancing each other in thought and deed, another set of eyes, another set of ears, someone who's got our backs. Another perspective on who we are, what we are worth, and we are worth a lot!

We must learn to fight back for good things in our lives!  Sexual intimacy is spiritual warfare. Stop giving in to an evil in this world that seeks only to destroy us and all that we love.  We have better things in store for us, a life worth living and hopefully someone who loves us to share it with.  Is it easy?  Well, if you're reading this and saying, "this is my story", then probably not.  But the real question is, is it worth it?  Absolutely.  There are unknown realities in store for you, things beyond your wildest imaginings and all for paying the simple price of intimacy.  So next time, instead of saying no to sex, with a smile on your face say "Sex? Of Course I Can!"